Things are going to take a lot longer than normal. Focus on the reality of why things are disorganized or confusing after the storm, instead of getting angry at everything that doesn’t go your way. The more you let your anger build, the more likely you will dump it on the people you love. That is irresponsible and wrong, so don’t do it! Deal directly with the pressure of this recovery time by building a deeper understanding of the situation and what you can actually do about it, instead of feeling angry and helpless about what you can’t do anything about right now during this time of disaster recovery. Being moody and continually irritated will not make things better for anyone, but it can make a bad situation worse for everyone involved. Why add more stress to an already over-stressed situation?
In a crisis situation you can’t afford to waste even a drop of valuable resources like water or gasoline-and you should be equally cautious about wasting emotional energy by worrying about things you can’t change. It’s time to go with the flow of difficult situations, instead of trying to fight against it. You can’t control the fact that this difficult situation has happened, and if you try it hyper-control something as big as a natural disaster it will only lead to greater levels of anxiety and stress for you. Better to keep focused on positive things like counting your blessings instead of counting your problems. Anxiety, stress, worry and chronic sleep loss can take a bad situation like this one and turn it into an abusive, or out of control one in a matter of days. Protect your attitude and you will significantly protect your ability to deal with the challenges that lie ahead.
This one is hard because people tend to feel angry and resentful in the days and weeks after a critical incident. However, it is essential to know that the construction and recovery crews responsible to take action to repair the daily life activities we tend to take for granted, (like electricity, water, gas, phone and cable services), are already working 24/7 shifts to accomplish that important goal of rebuilding basic services that were disrupted by the disaster.
This includes staff from the power company, phone company, tree services, cell phone providers, cable television workers, Internet providers, insurance adjusters, FEMA workers, the department of transportation workers replacing signs and traffic lights, fire fighters, police officers, doctors, nurses, school board officials, grocery store workers, gas station attendants, yard debris collectors and on and on. Trust that everyone is doing the best that they can to get things back on track. Emergency repair crews often work double time to get our homes, schools and businesses back on track-count on it. Even better, stop and thank them with your kids if you have a chance. A kind word of “thanks” goes a long way to reduce the stress and frustration that these professionals feel in rebuilding and maintaining essential services in our community.
- Why do some people seem to become bitter or hateful after a crisis like this one, instead of just being grateful to be alive?
A major disaster “dumps out” whatever is inside of a person, so you will see the best and the worst of behavior happening in the days ahead. A critical incident or natural disaster that overwhelms an entire community creates an equal sized emotional reaction in people, so be prepared for some unusual reactions in yourself and the people around you. Sometimes people who were the most hurting before the storm will act wonderful and kind on the other side of recovering from this type of traumatic event. It’s like they find a hidden strength in a crisis and reach out to others in a new way. Others just go numb and will seem to act like robots. Some people will get loud and others will become unusually quiet. There are many reasons for the wide range of emotional response; with a common factor being how many difficult and traumatic experiences they may have already witnessed in their lives. Hopefully, some people may have already sorted through these deep hurts and strong emotions before a killer storm hits. If so, they may have a deeper understanding of the need for compassion to others in a crisis. They understand about the storms in life and react with kindness, sometimes it may even seem to come automatically for them to reach out with positive emotions instead of being critical.
Other people can get completely cutting, hateful and mean in everything that they say and do, even if they weren’t that way before the storm. They may even try to chase you off with a broom if you try to help them clean up the broken limbs in their yard! Don’t panic, they probably aren’t having a breakdown, rather it’s likely a behavior some people call being ‘hardhearted.’ This comes from year’s worth of unresolved past hurts being piled up and never addressed or resolved.